ohh man. it has been awhiile, my apologies to you people.
So to start off, how are you guys!? What has been happening in your life, feel free to let me know!!
I would tell you that I haven’t been blogging in forever because I have been the busiest person of life, but in all honesty, I haven’t been….
I went from living with friends and seeing some of my best friends everyday to living back at home after graduating where I cant see my friends very much because they live hours away. If anyone reading this has been in the position like this, you know its difficult. You kind of start feeling lonely and if you dont have a job, extreme boredom. And to me, this lead to going through depression. I thought for awhile that maybe I was just feeling down and that it would pass, but it never did. I didn’t tell my family for a long time because i felt like it was something i could handle on my own, and i was pretty good at faking to be happy, at least i thought i was. i knew it was getting worse when i stopped taking care of myself, i would just lay in bed all day and not eat until my family got home and they made me eat dinner. This is something that showed me that something was wrong, because i am someone who is very healthy, who workouts everyday, sometimes twice and is normally extremely happy and energetic.
I thought i was faking it well enough, but my family noticed. My parents would ask me if everything was okay because i was quiet and just didn’t seem like my regular self. This hit me hard because i thought i was acting happy enough for them to believe it. i was wrong.
I later opened up to my sister, who is one of the closest people to me and i can tell everything to. i told her how i had been feeling and for how long and everything. she was the most supportive person and helped me with everything. when she wasn’t with me she was always contacting me to make sure i was okay, she would help me get ready for the day and always take me out with her, she would even make me food and lay with me on days i felt like i couldn’t get out of bed. She told our parents but they never made anything uncomfortable about it. They both just slowly started assisting, encouraging and helping me in everyday tasks that are sometimes difficult.
Being an extremely private person its really difficult for me to open up with people and tell them about my problems because i never want to feel like a burden to people and im always thinking about how so many other people have it way worse than me so i should not complain. But i saw this quote the other week on instagram and it said “other people are fighting a fight, but that does not mean that yours is any less of a fight” even though it is a very simple quote, it stuck with me. It made me realize that everyone is going through something as well, but just because other people are dealing with problems does not mean that you should not deal with yours (that doesn’t make sense but i hope you understand what i mean)
when it comes to both your physical and mental health it is okay to be selfish, you HAVE to be selfish about it otherwise. Many people think that dealing with mental health is easy compared to physical health. Having experienced difficulties with physical health in the past and now currently mental health, im here to tell you no, thats wrong.
Physical health is hard, you have to change your life style, exercise, change your diet, etc. But mental health takes over everything. Besides affecting you mentally, it also affects you physically. You have days where you cant get out of bed, you dont eat, you cant take care of yourself. When your friends invite you out to have a good time, you wish you were excited, but youre not. You feel drained, it takes you hours longer to get ready than before, you basicaly have to convince yourself to go out, because even though you love your friends, you know its going to be a difficult night ahead of you of forced smiles and laughs.
Dealing with depression is hard. You do still have good days, don;t get me wrong. But everyday is a fight, and sometimes you succceed and sometimes you fall. That is what needs to be realized, when you are fighting for something it is not going to be easy, its not just going to be all uphill, its going to be an up and down battle but you wil eventually make it. Once you come to the realization that you can get through this with help and support, and realize that you know what, you are going to have the odd day where youre down and do not want to get out of bed, you will be okay.
I was in my darkest period of my depression a couple weeks ago, and my family stayed with me, helped and supported me. That is what got me through it was knowing that they were there for me.
If you are going through this, you need to find someone that you can fully support you and will be there for you no matter what you are going through.
If you cannot find someone close to you like this, I am here. i know right now i may just be a blog to you, but i know what you are going through and im here to support you no matter what, if you would like to contact me just to say hi or if advice is needed, please feel free. I am always here for you, because i know its important to always have a friend around.
Sorry for the long and kind of sad post, but sometimes in life it is important to be serious and talk about things out loud.